I’ll Love you for a thousand more

Hello everyone, I wanted to give a little update on my life so far… For the moment, I am hair free…. NO BEARD!! Thank the Gods, I mean, I Love them on men…. just not me. I am really happy with how it has turned out. Now, I have taken a break from the Venus Factor… Mainly because I have no time to do it. I am helping my Aunt out out her Job, so I am working 12 hour days. I start at her office then go to my Job after and I just am so mentally exhausted that I just can’t bring myself to work out. I do workout on the weekends, but I am using our new machine that we bought…… What something NEW??!! Oh yes!

So I am currently using the Max Trainer by Bowflex…… This thing is insane! It’s basically a stair stepper and elliptical all in one, and it is brutal! if you do the one program on it that just goes at a stead resistance, it’s not that bad. When you use the program that changes resistance, it is just brutal. It claims that you only have to do this for 14 minutes a day and you will lose weight quickly. I have yet to be able to test that since I am only using it saturday and sunday. I hope that when I am back to just one job, that I will be able to get back to my workout routine. Here is the Link to the Max Trainer.¬†http://www.bowflexmaxtrainer.com/bowflex-max-trainer-us/homepage.jsp

Now I want to go to something that has nothing to do with Laser hair or Working out….. Saturday morning, I had to make the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make. While I was with a friend friday night, My dog had a stroke….. We didn’t know that that was what had happened until I took her to our normal vet saturday morning. I had come home and she didn’t greet me at the door like she always does….. she really didn’t respond at all. I thought maybe she was just tired, so I told her it was time to go outside to go potty and she still didn’t respond. She tried to get up at one point, but couldn’t get her back half to move. I was completely panicking and went to find my mom. We took her to an emergency 24hr vet, which I would have to say the guy was really creepy…… They told us that she looked fine but would need to run tests to really know what was happening. They wanted over a thousand dollars right then, or they wouldn’t do anything. So we went home and I tried to keep her warm since she was really cold which is unusual for her.

Now on Saturday morning when we took her to our vet, we were left in the waiting room….. A Concerned woman that was waiting to have her dog checked out, began talking to my mom asking what was wrong. My dog was just laying on the floor, we didn’t care that over animals were around and she didn’t even flinch when other dogs were barking. After talking to my mom, she walked up to one of the workers and started talking to her. Before we knew it, the nurses were helping me carry her to the back. When the vet started looking at her, she told us that everything she is seeing shows that she had a stroke and that when it happens to a dog, there is nothing they can do. So I had to make the hard choice to put her to sleep…….. I got her when I was about 12… During my parents divorce and she has been with me through everything. Watching her take her last breath was terrible, but it wasn’t as bad as watching her just lay there and not responding to anything. I wanted to be selfish and have them give her a steroid shot, but that would just give me 48hrs more with her. I couldn’t bring myself to put her through that, just because I wanted more time.

Last night was my first night without her and it was terrible. I cried myself to sleep and would wake up if I heard a sound and would look down at her bed that even right at this very moment is still in my room. When I woke up, I thought I was done crying, but when I left my room, the cat came in looking for her. She looked all over the room then just sat in the middle of her bed…. usually she rolls around in Zoie’s bed, not sure why she does that, but she does. When I saw how she reacted, I cried again for the millionth time. Just when I think that I am all good and there will be no more crying, someone asks me how I feel or they say sorry and the tears start again. Even typing this has me completely bawling…. I realized that Her death has affected me more than when I had grand parents die or uncles die. At this moment, I don’t know How I will make it through this…. she was my life. I felt safe being by myself, as long as she was here and now that she’s gone I just feel extremely empty. She was an amazing dog who was more like a family member than a pet.

I’m sorry if this was a downer for you guys, but I just felt that I needed to talk about it, and right now this is a lot easier than saying it out loud. I hope the beginning of this was helpful for someone and that I didn’t drive anyone away with this depressing last half.

RIP Zoie, If love Could’ve saved you, you would’ve lived forever. I love you pretty Girl

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